Day 5

Day 5
27th June 2014

Today was better, we actually seemed to have some normal(ish) conversation today. Although you were asking why I didn't feel right and I didn't want to tell you it's because I'm depressed.

I did still fell like you just didn't want to bother at times too though, especially tonight when you just suddenly stopped responding...then after some poking for an answer, you said you were in bed.....goodnight then.

Tomorrow is the first time I'm going to see you since you left me, but I really don't want to go, you want me to, but I don't want to be there. You don't realise how difficult it's going to be to be just a normal person around you and I hope it isn't made even more awkward by you not wanting to walk round with me, talk to me or hug me.

I'm going to drink a few cups of coffee in the morning and make sure I smell really nice before I see you because I know you like that, or at least you did...I guess my hope is to try and revive those memories of me...you really liked me, infact, you loved me...I guess there is only hope!

I love you so much

Raspberry

Day 4

Day 4
26th June 2014

I don't know what to believe any more...again you barely text me all day, then say you were busy when I know you weren't doing anything...perhaps posting on Facebook that you should be getting ready for prom, but eating chicken nuggets instead isn't the best idea if you want to use that excuse.

I'm so afraid that you're going to get off with someone tonight, if only to spite me, I'm even more scared that secretly, you've wanted to leave me for someone else all along :(

Today would have been our 6 months together...and now you seem to hate me and I really don't know if I can handle it any more! I've not left the house unless I've had to, I don't want to come out Saturday or Sunday to band, but you'll say you wanted me too, but if I cry in your face, please don't have a go at me saying I'm trying to make you feel bad?

I really hope I can get you to be at least a little more amicable with me this weekend.

I love you so much.

Raspberry

Day 3

Day 3
25th June 2014

Again, this morning consisted of me crying about you, I tried to save some nice texts, but most of them had been auto deleted.

I had to go to work today, they noticed how down I am almost instantly...It was so hard, I asked if you'd text me at lunch, you never did, you don't realise how hard it is just not talking to you.

I've noticed a distinct lack of you texting me, our texts are very one sided, often I text you 4 or 5 times just to get a reply...and quite often it's only one word :( You thought I had changed by talking to you less...you said I always forget, which isn't my fault...I don't seem to care with anyone...it worries me...I don't ever seem to be listening.

I was really really down last night, I wrote you a letter...and my parents and wrote down what I wanted to happen to me.

I've written you another letter today, one that I can give you on Saturday if you even come near me.

I love you

Raspberry

Day 2

Day 2
24th June 2014

I cried within 15 minutes of waking up this morning. I asked you, last nigh, to promise me that you'd never give up on there being an us, you said you think there may be a chance but not right now because we need time...that wasn't what I asked and I asked about 3 more times today and you seemed to just ignore me altogether.

I made you a playlist today, it was really hard, but I did...I'd like to record me playing/singing them all and giving them to you as a sort of mixtape...but I doubt that I won't be able to cry while doing it. But here it is, if you ever find out about this Your Playlist...

I've noticed a distinct reduction in you texting me even though you've told me I'm still one of your best friends, not your best anymore, one of them. I know you've been busy today but don't forget about me please :'(

I love you so much

Raspberry

Day 1

Day 1

23rd June 2014

So, you broke up with me last night and I can't describe how much it hurt. You're right, I don't understand, I don't understand how someone so in love with me, needing me so much can think that just because we've argued for a few weeks, this would be the best option. It's not.

I really needed you today, I just couldn't do anything and I've spent all day in bed...I didn't even eat until 3. I tried for you to be happy and have a conversation from you, you didn't seem interested.

You keep asking me to stop sending you these texts where I let my feelings out, so I have, that's why I decided to write things down, in the hope that one day, you might see it, and realise that breaking up wasn't the right thing to do. It's alright, I don't hate you for it.

I really hope one day you'll be happy with there being an us.

I love you so much,

Raspberry